Well, in Chapters 1 through 7 I related the tale of my little black cat and her incredible journey to Washington as an accidentally elected Congresscat. She has made quite a splash there in a short time. She has gotten the attention of the press who now unrelentingly dogged her for a story.
Her popularity is not surprising. She is, after all, the first cat in Congress duly elected, if somewhat controversially, by the people of my district in California. Such a happenstance does not go unnoticed in Washington especially by the press corps who are always hungry for a story which will put them in the limelight and possibly get them a spot on MSNBC's Hardball" or the vile Olbermann's Countdown" where they can use the time to pontificate on how bad President Bush is doing, how Republicans have screwed up the country, how we are losing the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the inevitable election of Barack Obama. All generally gloom and doom stuff under the guise of objective reporting! (My, how the liberals of the press corps flock to that network! And how well they are received, too!)
Election time is a competitive affair in our country. Candidates are always looking for a way to gain the advantage over their opponents. This is done by manipulating the easily manipulated press. It has happened again with the nomination by John McCain of Sarah Palin to be Vice President. What a stir. But effective!
News cycles only last a few days as the fickle press folks go off searching for more tasty tidbits, even if irrelevant, to fill TV time and the pages of newspapers. The Sarah phenomenon faded as fast as the lipstick on that pig and the McCain campaign could see it was time to get back on the front pages again. Ms Kitty, although an Independent in Congress, was a good choice to effect this if they could involve her.
It was conceived in the bowels of McCain's campaign headquarters to invite Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty on a moose hunting expedition. What better excitement could be stirred than a cat and a moose hunting woman bonding in the wilds of Alaska? The old proverbial cat and moose" game!
The objective of this action was threefold: to make another big splash with the ever hungry press, to seal the bid with the hunting voters of America, and to swing over more of Hillary's disaffected women voters who have been shown by polling to love cats. The invitation was extended.
Now, Ms Kitty has never hunted 'big game' before. She has shown a propensity to be a good 'birder' and I have great consternation with that. She soon learned not to kill them - that I was much more pleased with a live bird than a dead one. Moose hunting is another story.
Ms Kitty's staff in Washington, mostly female except the two gay guys, quickly accepted the invite. I think they like Sarah Palin as most of them were Hillary supporters until Hillary bombed out in the primaries by grossly underestimating Barack and committing the biggest blunder in U. S. political history bar none. So they had now moved their allegiance to another woman candidate. Even if Sarah hunted moose and was a Republican, she had fired a bullying police guy and sunk the bridge to nowhere, hadn't she? Their feeling was that Barack had mistreated Hillary and now they would mistreat him as many of Hillary's woman supporters apparently will do come November 4th. ("Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.")
It was time to outfit the cat for the expedition. Orders were placed with L. L. Bean for various items of hunting clothes and gear. That company is based in Maine, no better place to go for moose type stuff than Maine which has an abundance of that critter. Also, it is fashionable to buy hunting stuff from them if you really want to impress other hunters and not appear to be a rube.
(Barack Obama, not to be outdone, quickly came on board and invited Ms Kitty to Chicago for some good old fashioned street 'organizing'- Jesse style. He also clarified that he had come out in support of many animal rights bills in Congress and would continue to do so if elected. But that is another story.)
I don't know much about moose hunting, but I do know a moose is hundreds of times bigger than Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty. I was concerned about her safety because moose, from what I hear, are not the friendliest of animals especially those big men mooses in rutting season. I immediately contacted the Palin campaign people.
Sarah returned my call and was reassuring in her words that Ms Kitty would fall to no harm in that she would ensure her protection. Sarah, it seems, had hunted, successfully, many moose without as much as a scratch being inflicted on her body. And it was pointed out that a cat could hunt a moose as easily as any man. Besides, Ms Kitty would certainly enjoy Sarah's moose stew recipe, a hearty and delicious meal for man or beast.
My concerns were unfounded as the moose hunt went well, Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty supposedly bagged a moose, and the press was all over the story. Until the mischievous Mrs. Palin scared them nearly to death.
The press was assigned separate tents while hunting. It seems Sarah is a woman who enjoys a good joke and is not easily forgiving of an overzealous press corps who maligned her family. She decided to get them back.
Up in Alaska some people have pet bears - big old grizzlies that they have raised from cubs when found abandoned by mamma bears. While these bears may be tame, to the uninitiated they look fearsome and wild. Sarah had an idea.
The press folks are pretty much citified liberals mostly raised in New York City and the like. They certainly are not accustomed to the outdoors of neither Alaska nor its animals.
Sarah arranged to put several ripe salmon in the reporters' tents while they were out covering the moose hunt. Bears love salmon.
It is rumored that Mrs. Palin hired one of those 'tame' grizzlies and had it brought out to the campsite late one night long after the reporters were asleep. The bear was hungry, too, as she made sure it had not been fed that day.
Some of those reporters have yet to be found after they scrambled out of that tent and went running willy - nilly into the wilderness! So much for 'objective reporting' about the VP nominee from now on - if there ever was any.
There was an uproar at the TV networks that the VP candidate had, deliberately and with malice aforethought, invited the reporters along on this jaunt to kill them. "Preposterous!" said Sarah. "If I wanted such a heinous outcome, I'd have made sure Keith Olbermann was with them!" Of course, he wasn't because he is one of those 'dandies' who seldom, if ever, leaves the comfort and safety of his studio to pursue a story.
As with all things newsy, this too died down after much consternation and accusation about the Wild Woman from Wasilla" and her attempted murder of the press.
Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty returned from Alaska none the worse for wear and, after a close check for moose ticks, was back at work in her Washington office. At least her staff was. They quickly and enthusiastically endorsed Sarah for VP and donated the allowable limit to her legal defense fund as well as various homes for unwed mothers in Alaska.
Thus concludes another chapter in the adventures of the inimitable Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty. She surely leads an exciting life. Moreso than mine. Stay tuned for the next exciting tale in this continuing saga. Be sure to catch up on the first 7 chapters about Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty posted here on GoArticles.com if you haven't already done so.
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