CHAPTER 8: Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty Goes Moose Hunting - Entertainment - Humor

Well, in Chapters 1 through 7 I related the tale of my little black cat and her incredible journey to Washington as an accidentally elected Congresscat. She has made quite a splash there in a short time. She has gotten the attention of the press who now unrelentingly dogged her for a story.

Her popularity is not surprising. She is, after all, the first cat in Congress duly elected, if somewhat controversially, by the people of my district in California. Such a happenstance does not go unnoticed in Washington especially by the press corps who are always hungry for a story which will put them in the limelight and possibly get them a spot on MSNBC's Hardball" or the vile Olbermann's Countdown" where they can use the time to pontificate on how bad President Bush is doing, how Republicans have screwed up the country, how we are losing the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the inevitable election of Barack Obama. All generally gloom and doom stuff under the guise of objective reporting! (My, how the liberals of the press corps flock to that network! And how well they are received, too!)

Election time is a competitive affair in our country. Candidates are always looking for a way to gain the advantage over their opponents. This is done by manipulating the easily manipulated press. It has happened again with the nomination by John McCain of Sarah Palin to be Vice President. What a stir. But effective!

News cycles only last a few days as the fickle press folks go off searching for more tasty tidbits, even if irrelevant, to fill TV time and the pages of newspapers. The Sarah phenomenon faded as fast as the lipstick on that pig and the McCain campaign could see it was time to get back on the front pages again. Ms Kitty, although an Independent in Congress, was a good choice to effect this if they could involve her.

It was conceived in the bowels of McCain's campaign headquarters to invite Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty on a moose hunting expedition. What better excitement could be stirred than a cat and a moose hunting woman bonding in the wilds of Alaska? The old proverbial cat and moose" game!

The objective of this action was threefold: to make another big splash with the ever hungry press, to seal the bid with the hunting voters of America, and to swing over more of Hillary's disaffected women voters who have been shown by polling to love cats. The invitation was extended.

Now, Ms Kitty has never hunted 'big game' before. She has shown a propensity to be a good 'birder' and I have great consternation with that. She soon learned not to kill them - that I was much more pleased with a live bird than a dead one. Moose hunting is another story.

Ms Kitty's staff in Washington, mostly female except the two gay guys, quickly accepted the invite. I think they like Sarah Palin as most of them were Hillary supporters until Hillary bombed out in the primaries by grossly underestimating Barack and committing the biggest blunder in U. S. political history bar none. So they had now moved their allegiance to another woman candidate. Even if Sarah hunted moose and was a Republican, she had fired a bullying police guy and sunk the bridge to nowhere, hadn't she? Their feeling was that Barack had mistreated Hillary and now they would mistreat him as many of Hillary's woman supporters apparently will do come November 4th. ("Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.")

It was time to outfit the cat for the expedition. Orders were placed with L. L. Bean for various items of hunting clothes and gear. That company is based in Maine, no better place to go for moose type stuff than Maine which has an abundance of that critter. Also, it is fashionable to buy hunting stuff from them if you really want to impress other hunters and not appear to be a rube.

(Barack Obama, not to be outdone, quickly came on board and invited Ms Kitty to Chicago for some good old fashioned street 'organizing'- Jesse style. He also clarified that he had come out in support of many animal rights bills in Congress and would continue to do so if elected. But that is another story.)

I don't know much about moose hunting, but I do know a moose is hundreds of times bigger than Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty. I was concerned about her safety because moose, from what I hear, are not the friendliest of animals especially those big men mooses in rutting season. I immediately contacted the Palin campaign people.

Sarah returned my call and was reassuring in her words that Ms Kitty would fall to no harm in that she would ensure her protection. Sarah, it seems, had hunted, successfully, many moose without as much as a scratch being inflicted on her body. And it was pointed out that a cat could hunt a moose as easily as any man. Besides, Ms Kitty would certainly enjoy Sarah's moose stew recipe, a hearty and delicious meal for man or beast.

My concerns were unfounded as the moose hunt went well, Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty supposedly bagged a moose, and the press was all over the story. Until the mischievous Mrs. Palin scared them nearly to death.

The press was assigned separate tents while hunting. It seems Sarah is a woman who enjoys a good joke and is not easily forgiving of an overzealous press corps who maligned her family. She decided to get them back.

Up in Alaska some people have pet bears - big old grizzlies that they have raised from cubs when found abandoned by mamma bears. While these bears may be tame, to the uninitiated they look fearsome and wild. Sarah had an idea.

The press folks are pretty much citified liberals mostly raised in New York City and the like. They certainly are not accustomed to the outdoors of neither Alaska nor its animals.

Sarah arranged to put several ripe salmon in the reporters' tents while they were out covering the moose hunt. Bears love salmon.

It is rumored that Mrs. Palin hired one of those 'tame' grizzlies and had it brought out to the campsite late one night long after the reporters were asleep. The bear was hungry, too, as she made sure it had not been fed that day.

Some of those reporters have yet to be found after they scrambled out of that tent and went running willy - nilly into the wilderness! So much for 'objective reporting' about the VP nominee from now on - if there ever was any.

There was an uproar at the TV networks that the VP candidate had, deliberately and with malice aforethought, invited the reporters along on this jaunt to kill them. "Preposterous!" said Sarah. "If I wanted such a heinous outcome, I'd have made sure Keith Olbermann was with them!" Of course, he wasn't because he is one of those 'dandies' who seldom, if ever, leaves the comfort and safety of his studio to pursue a story.

As with all things newsy, this too died down after much consternation and accusation about the Wild Woman from Wasilla" and her attempted murder of the press.

Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty returned from Alaska none the worse for wear and, after a close check for moose ticks, was back at work in her Washington office. At least her staff was. They quickly and enthusiastically endorsed Sarah for VP and donated the allowable limit to her legal defense fund as well as various homes for unwed mothers in Alaska.

Thus concludes another chapter in the adventures of the inimitable Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty. She surely leads an exciting life. Moreso than mine. Stay tuned for the next exciting tale in this continuing saga. Be sure to catch up on the first 7 chapters about Ms Kitty Kitty Kitty posted here on GoArticles.com if you haven't already done so.

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For the connoisseur hunter Argentina bird hunting is the epitome of the sport - Business

For the connoisseur hunter Argentina bird hunting is the epitome of the sport and in the Cordoba region of Argentina it is a sport which attracts hunters from all over the world; indeed, such is the mild climate that hunting takes place all year round. The winter evenings can be cool but the days are glorious and the weather all year round is conducive to the best hunting and shooting conditions to be found anywhere in the world. The province of Crdoba with its regional capital of the same name is a located near the geographical center of Argentina; with a backdrop of the foothills of the Sierras Chicas on the Suqua River, the city itself lies some four hundred and thirty miles or so northwest of Buenos Aires, the Argentine capital.

The predominant architectural style of the area is as one would expect and has a distinctly Spanish feel to it, not least because the original European settlers to this vast landscape were of course Spanish; hunters arriving in the region for their vacation will probably be guests of one of the many lodges which are dotted around the open countryside well away from the city limits and the bustling streets and parks of Crdoba city.

However, don't think for one minute that it is merely a hunter's paradise; many families come away on vacation and while the hunter enjoys their time the family has the opportunity of relaxing at the lodges, many of which have five star accommodation and facilities. On the other hand those members of the family not into hunting can spend some quality time in the city exploring the beautiful streets, parks and amenities as well as taking in some of the enigmatic and magnificent scenery the area is famed for.

Very few people leave the region never to return, it is one of those places which appeal to everyone and as a vacation location it is one of the places in South America with which one will never tire. For the hunter the dove and duck hunting is the best in the world and if it is your first visit to the area there is a good bet it will not be your last.

Argentina bird hunting in the Crdoba region of this vast country is the best wild dove and duck hunting in the world; however, if it is your destination take time out to look around the wonderful city and find a little bit of history around every corner. For more information and to reserve a vacation package at one of the spectacular hunting lodges, log on to the website of the Detail Company, the address of which is

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South Africa: A Hunting Paradise - Outdoors - Hunting

South Africa can be described as one of the top hunting destinations in the world. The diverse biomes and game in the country make it the ideal place for an ever changing and exciting hunting experience. Because of its diversity, South Africa is able to offer almost any possible hunting scenario and possibility. South Africa has concrete legal and environmental guidelines which ensure that game populations are maintained while also allowing hunters to indulge in hunting activities. The large and dense populations of game provide hunters with more of an opportunity to spend their time actually hunting game as opposed to tracking them down and also ensure that the supply keeps up with demand. For those who are interested in hunting this basically translates into a ever available supply of game and also lower hunting costs.

Although there are regulations in place to ensure that game population don't dwindle, the law is lenient enough to provide hunters with a wide range of game available for hunting. In certain hunting lodges it is even possible to hunt feline and mammal populations such as lion, elephant and many more. Many hunting lodges in South Africa also cater for the niche market of bow hunting which is not allowed in many other countries.

One of the major characteristics behind the popularity of hunting in South Africa is the many available biomes and the diverse geography. For many hunters the challenge is not only in the prey that is being hunted, but also the environment in which they are hunting. South Africa's biomes include mainly woodlands, grasslands, arid regions, and tropical regions. It is not only the presence of these biomes which are unique but the fact that there are hunting lodges available in almost every one of them, and that populations which are native to these regions are also available for hunting there.

Some of South Africa's more prized game include the buffalo which is a member of the big five and one of the most dangerous animals in the world, let alone South Africa. The eland which is the biggest antelope in the world can also be found in South Africa along with a wide range of smaller and uniquely varied population of other antelope.

South Africa doesn't just have many game farms and a lot of game though. The sport of hunting is very strongly imbedded in South African culture. For hunters, that translates into availability of everything associated with hunting, including the availability of guns and hunting rifles. In South Africa it is illegal to own a fire weapon unless you have a license, but in most cases a person's involvement in hunting strongly stands in their favour when applying for a fire weapon license. Considering all that is in order and one has a license though, there is no shortage to be found in hunting weapons. Almost every city in the country has at least one Gun shop at which one can find almost any variety of weapons ever needed for hunting. In addition to Gun shops, there are also a huge number of shops that supply other hunting and safari related paraphernalia such as night vision equipment, camouflage clothing, sound enhancing equipment and a lot of miscellaneous goods.

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Where to go Boar Hunting - Hobbies

Boar hunting is a great sport, which many people love to participate in. However, it is not available in every part of the world. Thats why we are going to show you some of the top lodges for boar hunting. These lodges will help you organize your boar hunting trip as well as give you a great comfy place to stay in during your vacation. Whether you want to head down south, way down south, to the west coast or to the land down under, you will have a variety of boar hunting options on your next vacation to choose from.

In South Carolina, you will be able to hunt on private land which may be more comfortable for some hunters. This way your hunting grounds will be near your accommodations so you will not have to travel far and many of the private institutions will be handicap accessible. This is the case for Beam and Son Outfitters. Another great wild boar hunting ground is the Cinnamon Ridge Hunting lodge where you will not only have the chance to hunt for wild boar but also hogs, wild turkey, whitetail deer and quail.

More Southern locations include North Carolina, Florida and Georgia. In Florida, you will notice that Central Florida is very well known for its wild boar trips. Just like in South Carolina, you will be able to hunt wild boars and hogs on privately owned land such as it Brady Ranch. Wild Boars and hogs can also be hunted for at Calhouns Guide Service, Boars Unlimited, Chappys Outfitters, Everglades Adventures, Florida Wildlife Unlimited, Head Hunters Wild Hog Hunts, Hunting in Florida, Okee Hunt Club, Osceola Outdoors, and Silver Pine Reserves among many other locations. In Florida, you will be able to hunt your hogs and wild boars just about anyway you like. You can use bows and arrows, black powder, shotguns, rifles, muzzleloaders, spears and knives. It is all accepted. Also, one of the greatest parts about staying in one of these lodges is that often times, the staff will skin and clean your catch so that you can relax after your big hunt.

Many people do not consider California to be a happening boar and hog hunting place but if you look closely enough, you can definitely catch some hunting action on the west coast. You will especially be able to hunt for wild boars and wild hogs in California. You can hunt throughout the entire state such as in Southern Monterrey County or in the Central Coast of Florida. There is also many private land options as well to choose from.

There are other hunters out there who are more interested in international hunting adventures. Two of the greatest countries outside of the United States to go hunting for wild boar and hogs is in Argentina and in Australia. There are various locations in Argentina where one can go to hunt including La Pampa, Rio Negro, Buenos Aires, Chubut, Chaco, Entre Rios and Neuquen. If you are more interested in the land down under, then you can take a boar hunting vacation to West Queensland, Australia where you will be able to hunt during the day or night with the weapon of your choice.

When it comes to boar and hog hunting, there are many options to choose from. Make your next big hunt a memorable one by choosing one of these fine locations whether they are across the world or just a little across the way from you for an excellent big hunt.

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Whitetail Deer Hunting - Choosing the Right Outfitter - Outdoors - Hunting

When planning a whitetail deer hunting trip, it can be a difficult task to choose the right hunting outfitter. As one searches the internet, they will find outfitters promising, even "guaranteeing" a successful whitetail deer hunt just to lure someone into booking a hunt. While the vast majority of outfitters are reputable, some bad apples can can turn a hunting trip into a nightmare.

When searching the internet for whitetail deer hunting outfitters, avoid the few who provide info that's to good to be true. Always look for outfitters willing to provide references. Some whitetail outfitters have long lists of hunters that have previously used the outfitter that can be called to verify information and details.

Some whitetail deer hunting outfitters may even have lists of popular hunting tv shows that have stayed at their lodges and filmed hunts on the property. You can sometimes check that hunting show's website to get information about the outfitter, including some of the video footage shot during the hunt.

When you call an outfitter for your whitetail deer hunting trip, make sure to have a list of questions written down. If you're planning to only use archery equipment, does the outfitter provide bowhunting only whitetail deer hunts on their property? Has the outfitter implemented Quality Deer Management practices on their hunting land?

A reputable deer hunting outfitter will take the time to answer all your questions thoroughly, without any hype. If an outfitter doesn't answer your questions to your liking, or changes the subject, then it's probably a good idea to contact another.

If you're looking for a whitetail deer hunting outfitter that provides a hunting lodge and meals for its guests, make sure to ask about the amenities. Does the lodge provide a peaceful environment with private rooms and showers? Does the lodge provide home cooked meals? Is the lodge female hunter friendly? How many hunters does the lodge accommodate at a time?

Finally, what about if you're successful on your trophy whitetail deer hunting trip. Does your outfitter provide deer processing? Do they provide a freezer to store your meat until you leave? Some outfitters provide these services, but others will tell you that you're on your own after a successful hunt. Make sure you know BEFORE you're in that situation.

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Hunting Safaris - Outdoors

In most countries around the world it is illegal for anyone to just hunt animals, and in many cases it is also impractical since most game is isolated and not kept in the wild as such. Despite this however, people still maintain the desire to hunt wild game and the solution comes in the form of hunting safari's. Hunting lodges are very much like game farms in the sense that they isolate game in their natural environment. The only real difference is that a game lodge's main priority for breeding and maintaining game populations is so that they can be hunted. Even though the existence of these hunting lodge's allow people to hunt game more freely, the people who hunt there are still required to have a hunting licence or permit.

Customers of hunting lodges usually pay for the game they've hunted according to the type of game and the weight of the game. In almost every case, even if the hunter doesn't manage to kill the game, but has shot it and injured it in some way, they will be required to pay the full price for that game. In order to avoid the risk of injuring game without killing it, and furthermore, having clients pay for that game, many safari lodges have a professional hunter accompany their clients and fire a second Gun shot after that of the clients to ensure the game goes down.

Within the context of hunting there are different forms of hunting (mainly bow hunting and rifle hunting), there are many various game to hunt and there are various environments in which to hunt. For someone seeking to experience a broad spectrum of what hunting has to offer, a hunting safari is the best bet. A hunting safari is usually a trip incorporating a number of different hunting lodges so that hunters get to experience all the different challenges and varieties involved in the sport.

One of the biggest varieties in the sport of hunting is the game itself, and hunters pride themselves with the type of game and the size of the game they've successfully hunted. The game offered on safari's can vary from small game such as impala to more prized game such as kudu and buffalo. Besides these common species of antelope there are also a number of other unusual game available to experienced hunters who want to add something new to their list of achievements. Game such as rhino, elephant and the extremely rare black impala are also available for hunting, although very selectively and at a costly price. Overall hunting promises to provide an endless possibility for diverse recreation, and hunting safari's make it possible to string many different experiences together in a single trip.

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Things to Look For in a Hunting Lodge - Hobbies

There are many things to look for in a hunting lodge. Your hunting lodge will be your refuge for a weekend or a week. If you are a beginner hunter, you may or may not know what to exactly look for while choosing between hunting lodges. You should also realize that there are hundreds of hunting lodges around the world. If you have no idea where to begin, then you can start at the beginning with a few key questions in order to determine what your hunting lodge needs.

Heres where you need to begin in your hunting lodge search. Do you want an international and exotic trip? Or do you prefer a hunting lodge across the country or down the road from your home? Once you know the general area of where to begin your search, you can look for travel arrangements. You want to make sure that travel arrangements are available for the hunting season that you are choosing to go in. There are hunting lodges all over the United States, Scotland, Australia and Argentina just to begin. Then you can start your search for specific hunting lodges.

Some of the most important factors to remember while researching an appropriate hunting lodge includes such factors as price, location, hunting season, rentals, surrounding area, etc. Service is very important. This hunting trip will most likely also be your vacation. You are going to want to be around helpful people who can be helpful during your hunting vacation. Therefore, the quality of the service is very important. Check hunting lodge reviews and post questions about the service at the hunting lodge in order to find out whos the best in the area.

Food is definitely a major deciding factor in where to stay. Some hunting lodges offer mini cabins that include one or two bedrooms and a good-sized kitchen where you can make all of your meals. However, if you are looking to be catered, you may look for a hunting lodge that offers a restaurant or even room service. You can also choose a hunting lodge that offers a kitchen and may have a few restaurants close to the lodge so that you can dine or cook when you want.

Many hunting lodges will include a place to rent hunting supplies which is ideal for those who are traveling long distance or simply do not have the space to carry their equipment. You will also want a lodge who not only offers top quality service but also one where the staff knows a lot about hunting, including special hunting hot spots, hunting seasons and techniques. Many lodges will also offer tours and packages which may interest many hunters. You should definitely find a hunting lodge which offers these packaged deals so that you will not only receive a great rate at the hunting lodge but also an experienced and knowledgeable tour guide.

You should thoroughly investigate the hunting lodge that you are planning to stay in. This way, you will find a great place to stay at a great rate, which will be stress free and an excellent hunting trip.

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